Saturday, February 24

somewhere over the rainbow

My goodness, I'm very much excited about The Wizard of Oz!

:O

Thursday, February 22

RE: Fuckage

Let me just blog something before I respond to your monster post.

Stress fucking sucks. I just had the most god-awful, stress\illness induced dream.. It seemed so 'out of my league.....' I got up at 9.30.. slept in... I almost screamed.. I scared my mom, I think.. and it wasn't one of those illogical videogame-induced dreams, which aren't really all that bad, but this was extremely.... obscure.. yet so real... When I got up, I was convinced it was at least 2pm... I don't feel like discussing it where anyone can read.. Let's just say that I'm so grateful, even beyond words, to be alive right now, so grateful to life in a house, to have what family I do, to be able to go to school, to live life and be free of terror.. for now. moving on...............

OK.

what I may say right now may not seem right, probably because i'm in such a strange state.. and I mean all of this in a very loving way when I say this.

Everyone has problems. I know, it seems like your'e the only one with such huge problems, and nobody could possibly understand, but.. chances are, they do, and they would, if they could. I have to tell this to myself all of the time, because I'm so convinced that no one else would even begin to understand the magnitude of my problems. Sure, we all have situation-specific problems, but the better we understand, the better.... we understand..

look, I'm coming to you from my most humble place.. You are an amazing person. You don't need all of this bullshit in your life, and you most certainly didn't ask for it.This is beyond your control. ever heard the 'bad things happen to good people' thing? yeah. I think that should be changed to 'bad things happen to good people, but karma really kicks bad people's asses if you wait long enough' .. if that makes any sense.

'I'm always so mad at the state the world is in, and the feelings of helplessness to change that. It makes me so sad, but I feel their isn't anything that I can do, and that makes me angry.'
your fuckin right. it pisses everyone off. It seems really hopeless, but entire world is not your responsibility. I had to tell myself that damn-near constantly during 'world issues' and 'confronting the past'...... those classes were really depressing.

It's only a month or so.. It may seem like hell-on-earth until then, but start a countdown if you have to! something .. to take your mind off of the current shit-at-hand.

'There's also other things going on, but I'm not telling anyone, if all goes as plans, I will take my secrets to my grave, or keep them to myself for a very, very long time. I don't have the courage to tell anyone. So, sorry.' well............. did you kill someone? It couldn't be that bad.. (your'e probably laughing at my sheer ignorance and stupidity, right now.. butr if that's how you prefer it.. ) I don't really have advice for that, as we all have our dark secrets \ things we hide from the world.


Just wanted people to know, if anyone reads this. I don't want to talk about it in person. I don't want to cry in front of people, or add to the drama in other people lives, when they have gone through a lot more than myself. No need to worry about me, I'll be fine.

you know very well that I'm pretty much the only person that reads this, you could have adressed this to me. People's life experiences are incomparable. I absolutely detest the 'I have gone through more bullshit than you have' game, which people I used to know (and thankfully are out of my life and I never have to see thier faces again) used to pull on me whenever I tried to help them, making them seem like tragic souls.. Your'e not 'adding drama' to my life when you ask for help.I feel good, when you feel good. I mean, sometimes people just have way too much crap of thier own and they need help. and to that end, I have a therapist.... so I don't have to talk to anybody that sees me on a regular basis about things such as that.

P.S. My friends, you're so nice to me, I don't deserve it...
why don't you deserve it? you've been through more shit than tons of people. You do deserve it..... I hate arguing the obvious..

i'm done. i don't feel like writing anymore.

Wednesday, February 21

Fuckage

Ya, things have gone downhill. FAST.

I've been very irritable lately. I don't get enough sleep because I keep myself up thinking about pointless things, and then I'm angry at every little thing in the morning and just burst out crying if something small happens that used to never effect me.

I'm always so mad at the state the world is in, and the feelings of helplessness to change that. It makes me so sad, but I feel their isn't anything that I can do, and that makes me angry.

I've also found out why I'm always saying that I'm stupid. It's so that I can get reassurance from my peers that I'm not. I'm so dependent on other people, so indecisive, I feel like I can't do anything.

My home life isn't very good, it's getting tougher and tougher everyday, and it will for the next month and a half, and then hopefully everything will be better. I can't wait until it's all over, and we can start a new life, far away from these horrible memories.

The good memories were all the illusions of my blissfully ignorant young mind. My dad was always an ass, right from the start. Why do most men in my life have to be such ass holes?

My dad, it still hurts to see him sad though. I feel so bad when I ask him for anything, like for him to buy me something, because it feels like I'm using him because he's trying to win us over by buying us stuff, but it's not going to work. It's like one minute I hate him, and then the next I feel guilty.

There's also other things going on, but I'm not telling anyone, if all goes as plans, I will take my secrets to my grave, or keep them to myself for a very, very long time. I don't have the courage to tell anyone. So, sorry.

Just wanted people to know, if anyone reads this. I don't want to talk about it in person. I don't want to cry in front of people, or add to the drama in other people lives, when they have gone through a lot more than myself.

No need to worry about me, I'll be fine.

P.S. My friends, you're so nice to me, I don't deserve it...

Sunday, February 18

I want this all to be over....

I don't want to be in this house.
This cold shelter, I want to go "home".

Think about it... I don't really wanna talk about it, just been thinking about the phrase "I want to go home" and thinking it even when I'm at my own house.

Shit happens, eat cheese. I wish it was that easy.

Friday, February 2

I'm FREEEE~!

Yes, you heard it, I'm free~! FREE FROM THE METAL CONFINDS THAT ARE BRACES~! WHOOOOOOOO~!

So ya, happy happy joy joy~! Yesterday = good. Braces go "byebye", Hair goes "byebye" sortof, and "We :heart: Katamari" = MINE~!

That game is so messed up, but I love it... but I'm not very good at it... oh well. I'm not very good at video games anyways, and yet I love them so... Probubly because they are on super f-ing easy XP

So, being free feels so good and so wierd. Being able to eat an apple without cutting it, or not having to picking food out of my braces for hours, it's so nice n_n


GAH~! SO HAPPY~! RAWR~!

Monday, January 29

A PROUD MEMBER OF UFAN


yay nukezooone.

Scott is the leader!!

Juhachi is Admiral of the First Squadron UFAN Vessel 1st Brigade 1st Division.

Gde ya mogu kupit' bileti shtob vibratsa iz etovo zamerzhshovo ada??
hahaha, I definitely think that you are on drugs, and so does my mom and everyone else's mom.

I'm 99.8% truthful... sometimes you gotta be nice.


[
your worth more then half price...

i know, but you get 1\2 price discount

your worth more then full price

lol.
]

"sorry, I had to let the dog out" is not a metaphor

Sunday, January 28

Bandersnaaaatch

Claire: STEVE!
Steve: CLAIRE!

lol Code Veronica.

I need to beat that game.....

Saturday, January 27

Resident Evil Resident Evil Resident Evil Resident Evil Resident Evil Resident Evil Resident Evil Resident Evil Resident Evil Resident Evil Resident Evil Resident Evil Resident Evil Resident Evil Resident Evil Resident Evil Resident Evil Resident Evil Resident Evil Resident Evil Resident Evil Resident Evil Resident Evil Resident Evil Resident Evil Resident Evil .............

You all know I'm obsessed.

Resident Evil .

Anyhow, Resident Evil Afterlife, the 3rd installment of the series of Resident Evil movies is slated to release this spring.

however it turns out, I'm really excited nevertheless.

yep.

and RE5 is coming soooon :D :D :D wheeeeeeeee!

lalalalalalalaaa

Alright. anyhow.

I'm bored :D I guess I should be studying for my History essay; which is divided into three parts, the essay worth the least marks. Thankfully. I'm basically confident that I'm going to roxxors that exam to maximum wewt. Still, it does not hurt to study. lalalallaaaa.. I'm actually really happy today. yeah. My world issues exam is just a 7 paragraph essay. I'm going to go into rant mode, and add information. Own'd. XD These things are in the bag, baby.

GREAT!

DOUBLE KO!! ! ! that was AMAZING!!!1!

XD gotta love Tekken...

I'm just really on top of the world right now. I have the most awesome crew-team... thing... of friends XD yeah.... Really good mood.

Oh, and Elie, if your'e reading this, you MUST tell me what you think of Tekken Tag. We shall battle. Oh yes. We shall. FWAH! I think I'm developing a rather handsome blister after our first annual Tekken Festival \ Family Guy marathon. I'm looking forward to many more! OWN'D!

lol... Nina power! .... wheeeeeeeee~ ... I want to blow things up.... WITH MY MIND! ... rofl.

Tuesday, January 23

Without you...

I'm going to go into the fir trees
There where I last saw her
But the evening is throwing a cloth upon the land
and upon the ways behind the edge of the forest
And the forest it is so black and empty
Woe is me, oh woe
And the birds sing no more

Without you I cannot be
Without you
With you I am alone too
Without you
Without you I count the hours without you
With you the seconds stand still
They aren't worth it

On the branches in the ditches
it's now silent and without life
And breathing becomes oh so hard for me
Woe is me, oh woe
And the birds sing no more

Without you I cannot be
Without you
With you I am alone too
Without you
Without you I count the hours without you
With you the seconds stand still
They aren't worth it without you

Gleiches Semester; gleiche Dinge.

Drama. Ich gebe keine reifliche Überlegung als, wie andere mich wahrnehmen.

Herzeleid.

Gefühle haben in Jahren nicht gefühlt,

Schwierig, zu vermuten.

Sie wird versuchen, meinen guten Namen zu zerstören, aber ich weiß, was ich machte, hatte Recht.

Ich habe kein Bedauern.

Krumme Blicke, ‚machte Sie sehen das‘? geheime Versammlungen, strukturiert sociopolitical um, ist es highschoolen.

Nächster Begriff wird besser sein, hoffe ich.

Soziale Ungerechtigkeit; hat aus keinem Grund vor allem angesprochen.

Gegenüberstellung.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Same semester; same things.

Drama. I don't give a second thought as how others perceive me.

Herzeleid.

feelings not felt in years,

difficult to surmise.

She will try to destroy my good name, but I know what I did was right.

I have no regrets.

Crooked glances, 'did you see that?' secret meetings, sociopolitical restructure, it's highschool.

Next term will be better, I hope.

Social injustice; accosted for no reason in particular.

Confrontation.

Sie hasst mich, weiß ich.

Monday, January 1

Is the theater even there at the start? I thought it was an unlockable or whatever. Oh well, I still have to explore those discs. I tryed playing the Metal Gear and Metal Gear 2, the NEZ versions. They'er hard o.o;;; But it was entertaining.
I'm so happy you got the ps3 to play ps2 games. <3 !

METAL GEAR! yay! Right now, i'm going through SSX tricky with every character on every track, going for the gold! O: It's hard . . XD

We must gather and watch the kojima theatre portion of subsistance!

I want my CD's back <3 I'm going nutty without them.

DU HAST MICH!

Wheee~!

Well, we got the PS3 to play PS2 game all right. The prolem was that we were playing them on a wide screen and not a square one, so the screen was stretched or something. So, now we play PS2 games on the square TV.

Also, KH2 looks like crap on a PS3, ugh. So, we try Metal Gear Solid 3, Subsistance, and I drool. The graphics are sooooo~ much better than KH2. So, now I'm happy. Sort of.

I can't buy DDR D: There are no ports for PS2 controlers in the damn thing. Damn you Sony, damn you. So, I hope Konami make PS3 DDR mats or I will go crazy. But, me and my brother are planning to buy a PS2 when they go down in price anyways, so that we get the best quality for our PS2 games. *shrug*

So, all in all I'm happy with the PS3, but this year will be great for games. Metal Gear Solid 4 and Resident Evil 5 (I'm not actually sure when thats coming out), and Prince of Persia 4 (also don't know much about this one). Ahh, my gaming life is rejuvinated xD

Oh, and while playing (or rather watching my brother play), I drooled all over Snake. I love him to pieces <3 And onlince play, everyone is like, asses xD So, there was this girl, in chat she's like, "Snake, wanna touch my boobs" and the player playing Snake is like, "yeeeeeah!" xD It was funny.

Playing Riadenovich is fun, you grab people in the crotch xD and you are resistant to Girly Mags :0

Ah, I love Metal Gear. KOJIMA <3

Friday, December 29

OMGOMGOMG. nothing. sorry if I got you excited.

Went Shopping. Got Clothes.

I'm again in love with Rise Against (punk band). I'll probably go on Gaia. I love this new game I'm playing, SIREN. (PS2) OoO It's pretty wild. I'm still working on Silent Hill, and also beating RE4 again [again] (again). Afterwards, I will beat RE3, which scares the bejoinkers out of me. More than Silent Hill.

My mom got an 'Elton John Greatest Hits' CD, so that's what's playing upstairs. I like Elton John.

The Giant Gathering of the Taylors is taking place on new years eve. I want to have a party instead. If you think you can make it to my house, let me know. that would be sweet. Assuming I know you, and your'e not just some creep on my website. yeah.

OH LOOK! A 9 VOLT BATTERY! THEY ARE SO HARD TO FIND! ....

I love how parents bitch about how violent video games are, and yet they will fight over PS3's. Plain stoopit.

Touques, down filled coats, graffiti T's, Nike runners, R'nB, D'nB, and the language, yo. I am becoming a wigger. Not even trippin. Word.

God save the queen. she does so much for us. 9__9 Bless her shriveled heart. I'm sure she's a great person, I just don't get how she could send Canada to war, and she has nothing to do with our daily political life. At all. We're a colony. GO US. and Bush Jr. aka Stephen Harper can . . . he can . . . uhm . . .

OH. I would like to send a shout out to all of those English soldiers who tried to keep China British. Holla.

Random-ly yours (but not your posession. <- the feminism is coming through)

JU.

#@&*$^@!(*$#(@*&$#*@^$*@%#$

Thursday, December 28

OO:

Rammstein is probably the best German metal band there ever was, and I don't even know any other german metal bands.

F CORRIDOR IS BORN.

ok, so I didn't go through childbirth, but I DID conceive this fabulous website with my co - conspirator SNOW. I guess this is where things can be posted, etc etc. If you want permissions, mail ME. THE JU. That's about it. Snow can hook you up too. I guess. XD cause we're admins . . . . isn't that a scary thought?


GHOST IN THE SHELL RULES.

--JUJUHACHIGO.

Tuesday, December 5

List of Anime and Manga

Okay xD

Anime:
Cowboy Bebop! <3
Sailor Moon
Dragon Ball Z
Medabots
Pokemon
Gundam Seed
Gravitation
Loveless
My Nieghbor Totoro
Spiritred Away
Howl's Moving Castle

Manga:
Loveless
Full Moon
Fake
Princess Ai
Utill the Full Moon
Cresent Moon
Gundam Seed
Rin
Anything NAONO BOHRA! <333333
Only the Ring Finger Knows
A ton of Scanlations
(OMG) Gerard et Jaques
Black Knight
Crimpson Spell
The Tyrant Who Fell in Love

GAMES!:
Resident Evil
Metal Gear Solid
Katamary
Prince of Persia
Mario 64
007 (for 64)
DDR!

I'll edit more later..

OTACON X SNAKE!!!
NAONO!!! <333333